my mom just looked at a spider at our kitchen and yelled “why do you have to be like that? you dont need that many eyes or legs you need to stop”
0 to 100 real quick
but imagine pulling the wrong lipstick when youre not paying attention
wanna know how i got these scars
perfection in three sentences
Some of these are so awkward, and some are great, and there’s that one with the dad that’s just 100% heartbreaking.
this might go over the heads of some of the kids on here.
did you just
This is the greatest post I have ever seen because it is both a pun and a harsh truth.
I showed this to my 11 year old brother and asked him if he knew what it was. He looked at it for a few seconds and said
"I dunno. a printer?"
I MISS THESE
HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS EVEN LOOK LIKE A PRINTER
Of fucking course
What sick bastard doesn’t
"You’d be surprised", said Xaldien, who just lost four followers and received a lovely "men can’t be raped" anon shortly after reblogging this the first time.
I have a few copies of “Playboy” from the 1970s stashed away somewhere. One of them has a letter where a guy writes in saying, “I met this really gorgeous, sweet woman, and we were planning to get married, but she sat me down yesterday and told me that she had a sex change before she met me. Mr. Hefner, should I marry someone who used to be a man?” and the response was, “So she had a sex change, big whoop. Would you be asking this question if she’d made any other change in her life before she met you? You love the woman she is now, and that’s all that should matter. If you want kids you can adopt or something.”
I feel so conflicted right now
That awkward moment when Hugh Hefner is more trans-positive than most feminists of the same era.
My roommate bought a pack of 24 rolls of toilet paper yesterday, in addition to the half dozen we already had, and stored all of them in the bathroom. And just let me tell you, there’s something incredibly calming and reassuring about looking next to you while you’re on the toilet and seeing 30 rolls of toilet paper sitting there. You get a feeling like, no matter how bad shit gets in there, you’re always going to make it out okay in the end.